Wanna lick my spoom?

A fellow blogger offers tips on dating.  For men.  They’re interesting.  Good, even.  He offers such gems as:

1. Acquire a “grown-up” email address.  beer4eva at blah blah dot com (not a real email, I hope) should leave you when you leave your college dorm. No self respecting woman will take that seriously. Or, respond.
2. No kissing on date number 1. Oops. 

 

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He offers other tips, but really, you’ll have to read them  yourself. 

 My opinion though, is that guys may not be the best sources for dating advice or tips for other guys.  I’d like to see a man, preferably an intelligent, somewhat accomplished, well-read, articulate gentleman with all his teeth and nary a single John Deere cap, offer advice for women.  That’s what I need to read about.  I already know what men should do. 

And, here’s where I list them. 

Guys, here are 10 things to do , or not do, as the case may be, to date successfully.  Or , if I’m honest, to date me.  I know there are other women who agree with this list.

In no particular order:

1. Let the lady (that would be your date, guys) walk through the door first.  Do not push her, do not click your tongue and say , “uh, go!” if she pauses.  Just allow her to go first. It’s kind. It’s nice. 

2. Speaking of doors, hold one open now and then.  Not necessarily every time, that’s a bit overboard, but once in a while, yeah, it’s nice.  (notice a trend?)

3. Pay attention. Maybe throw out a compliment, I dare you.  

4. Know some basic geography. Even if you’re not well travelled, you should be able to speak intelligently about, oh, Canada. 

 

5. Learn how to cook one dish well.  At some point your date may ask if you cook.  Even if you eat take out or Cap n’ Crunch for every meal, having one dish you know how to make (spaghetti does not count, unless you make the sauce from scratch  – in which case, call me… ;))  will give her confidence that you at least try to be an adult.

6. Manscape. For the love of God and country.  Manscape; and not just THERE. Women like touchable hair-free skin (shoulders, back, you get the idea). So….

 

 

7. Moisturize.  Even better? Baby oil on your skin in or post shower. Trust. 

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8. Don’t FB-friend us after the first date. Just. Don’t.  It’s creepy.  

9.  If you ask us out, you pay. If we ask you out, we pay.  Going Dutch is NEVER a good idea. 

10.  If you are using online dating, never:

  •  start an email  with “Hi, what’s your cup size?”
  •  offer to meet at her house with a bottle of alcohol on a first date    
  •  treat the email as a venue to try out your tired pick up lines

and, always:

  •      spell check
  •      READ HER PROFILE
  •      check her age limit settings
  •      be genuine, not smarmy
  •      be nice (back to that , again.)

  

Ok, so maybe I stretched the truth a bit.  This list may not get you a date with me, but it might earn you a second date.

There will be more to come, rest assured, but next time I’ll probably go back to food – I do have to keep that promise of “trying something new” , after all.

Happy Hump Day, and hey, ask that girl (or guy) you’ve been crushing on out this weekend.  You have an extra day to recover or rejoice if it goes well.

…and, who knows, maybe you’ll create a little heat in the process.

Cheers.

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